Michael Richards -- Ughn!

I feel exhausted every time I think about this situation. This morning a few news reports showed highlights from his recent appearance with Jesse Jackson. A small part of me actually feels bad for him. Richards looks like a lost puppy. He really looks like he doesn't understand what has happened. He claims that he is not a racist and he seems to really believe that. Still, he can't account for the words that he so freely spoke on stage and clearly directed at a group of young Black audience members. He looks so stunned that one might wonder if he were momentarily possessed by the spirit of a madman from the deep south 100 years ago. But, superstition aside, he needs to deal with the reality of his words and the consequences.
Consequences. See, I think that's the issue here. He spoke those words freely and with vigor because at that moment he felt safe. He [wrongly] assumed that the crowd would laugh and generally agree with his statements. It is not likely that this is the first time he has spoken in this way. What is likely is that he was never called out on it before. He was always in a place where he was either in the company of like minds or in the company of people who had less power and felt they could not respond appropriately. But, this time was different. He wasn't in his "safe to be racist" zone, although he wrongly assumed he was. He wasn't the most powerful person in the room, although he must have felt he was. Instead, and thankfully, the group he addressed expressed the power to resist such racist comments. We all have this power although many of us do not choose to exercise it.
I take back my original observation that Richards looks like a lost puppy. As I am writing, it is becoming clear what he really looks like. His expression reminds me of a small child who was caught doing something wrong. Just as young children judge "wrongness" by the consequences and not the intent of the actions, Richards is responding to the consequences more than the intent. We must remember though that this is a very immature expression of morality. As we get older, have more experiences, dare I say, "grow up", we learn to reason in a morally advanced way. Richards has not learned to do this yet.

Back to the gym!

I was ready to go and ran upstairs to get dressed for the gym. I reached into the drawer with neatly folded gym clothes that haven't been touched for months and pulled out a pair of comfy shorts. I double checked the size - large - to be sure they would still be comfy shorts and pulled them on. They were tight. Way tight. "I'm a pig", I thought. And almost decided to take a nap instead of going to the gym. But, instead, I pulled out the XLs, giant jog bra, Muppets t-shirt and left the house. As many of you know, leaving the house is a great accomplishment. It almost always means that you are actually going to the gym. I resisted the urge to go to the post office, supermarket, coffee shop and arrived at the Y. Here was my workout: 30 minutes elliptical, 15 minutes old fashioned stair master (the one where you actually climb stairs), 20 minutes new elliptical type machine. I had planned on doing 30 minutes of the old stair climber but forced myself to stay for 15 minutes before I switched machines. More than an hour of cardio - triathlon here I come.
Next day = 30 minutes high intensity cardio + 30 minutes lifting!
I refuse to buy more shorts in size XL so I am going to have to keep this going.

PS3 makes Ben sad

As the lines began to form outside Circuit City and Best Buy stores throughout the country, I became overcome with a feeling of anxiety. I remember the days when parents clamored for Cabbage Patch dolls, Tickle me Elmos and the like. Children crying and parents feeling compelled to shell out money they don't have to stop the tears.
This is problematic on so many levels. First, we socialize our children to think they must have certain things. In part, this is our fault. As adults we insist on having certain items, the best new gadgets, even name brand aspirin as we turn our nose up at the generic ibruprofen. But still, it is imperative that we as adults help children vet out what is important and what is just hype.
But, here's the bit that really gets under my skin. As I saw the lines form and reporters interviewing the folks who were waiting, I realized something really sad and sobering. That realization is that most of the people in line weren't getting the PS3 for themselves. They were buying them [sometimes more than 1] so that they could sell them on Ebay for double or triple or more to desperate parents.
This is the saddest part of all. Forget the village helping to raise your children, they are too busy finding out how to take advantage of the elders. What has happened to our culture when making a buck has trumped everything else? And, I might even be able to wrap my mind around it if they interviewed someone in line who has three kids of his own and will use the money from the PS3 sale to take care of his own family. However, what I keep seeing are young 20-somethings who either don't work or don't mind taking three days off from work to sit in line outside a store.
On the other hand, we shouldn't let the folks off the hook who actually buy these items at ridiculous prices. I can't help but wonder what their life is like that they really think it's worth $3K to purchase a freakin' game. Especially when, if they could wait a month, they could probably buy it right off the shelf at the store at regular price. That group almost deserves the little Veruka Salts with whom they get to live. Still, it makes Ben sad. All sides of it.

I suck

Yesterday I never got to the gym because the baby was sick and I felt bad to leave him with the gym daycare. But really, I just suck. He could have stayed there for an hour. He would have been fine. I need to get over all of my crazy hang-ups and excuses. It's too easy to use the baby to justify things. Who would argue with me when I say that I needed to take care of him and sacrifice my gym workout? So, it's time to be honest with myself about my motivations and obstacles. I can do this, I know I can -- just not today. Today I'm sick, really. Sore throat, fever -- the whole enchilada + I have to work until at least 5p. If I feel better I will go to the gym tonight.

Less than Stellar Start

My triathlon training was thwarted today by a complete lack of sleep. Last night I literally had to hold the baby all night long and was unable to sleep. So, this morning going to the gym to workout seemed very unattractive. Instead I stood at the kitchen counter, bent over from the waist with my head resting on the counter. The coolness of the granite served to wake me up a little bit.
At the moment I am at work, exhausted, trying to read about logistic regression. Yes, it is just as boring as it sounds.
Hopefully, tonight will be filled with sleep and tomorrow will be a better start.

I'm the decider...

And, I've decided to begin training for a triathlon. I've run a marathon and did the city to shore bike ride (150 miles in two days), and now it's time to kick it up a notch -- BAM!

Of course, the baby adds an extra obstacle to my already hectic life. However, my 5:30 a.m. gym visits are getting easier to stomach. I am going to use this blog to document my efforts and to keep me honest.

Stay tuned.