"My well is polluted" and other assorted metaphors

Some of you will remember one of the first posts to this blog, "Just another humiliation". This post told the tale of our septic system gone awry. Now, two years later, the well is acting up. A city girl at heart, I have never fully embraced the idea of having a well or a septic system. It's all a little too "Little House on the Prarie" for me. But, I have tried to summon my inner Ed Begley Jr. and appreciate the self sufficiency and positive environmental impact of our water system.
Of course, I am not particularly keen on drinking the well water which results in my purchase of large quantities of bottled water -- not so environmentally friendly.
Recently, we were asked by the county to provide a water sample and test results to show our well was in good working order. The results of this test? POLLUTED! Oh yes, our well is polluted -- yummy bacteria.
Ok, I am rolling with it. We got some advice... put some bleach and chlorine tablets in your well and kill the bacteria. Actually, they said "bacteria colony". So now I have the image of a full bacteria ecosystem setting up shop in my water supply.
On the expert advice we commenced with the bleach and chlorine tablets. Two gallons of bleach and a bag of chlorine pellets. It is now three days later and our water supply is completely bacteria free. On the other hand, it still is very high in bleach and chlorine. We are using a little pool tester and the chlorine level is still too high to swim. I am pretty sure that is also too high to drink or bathe as well.
For the past three days we have been running the water in the bathtubs pretty much non-stop. On the bright side, I have washed all the sheets and towels and they are very clean.

Garfield minus Garfield

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

KidPlay: Not much Ocean, but definitely Motion

When I received the invitation for a birthday for a 2 year old at Oceans in Motion [http://www.oceannmotion.com/] I was skeptical to say the least. I am not a big fan of children’s birthday parties to begin with and I am even less of a fan of lame wordplay. So, when the invitation arrived with the phrase, “Can’t wait to ‘sea’ you” scrawled on it, I almost puked.

The web site boasts, “Can’t get to the beach? Come to the ocean!”. This pissed me off even more. I love the beach and I look forward to introducing my little one to the sand and ocean. I couldn’t begin to fathom how some hole in the wall in a strip mall in Mt. Laurel, New Jersey was going to deliver the bliss of the sea and sand. Ultimately, it didn’t matter what I thought, what crazy cynical streak was rearing its ugly head – we were going. My son [Ben, 19 months old] was locked and loaded in his best little outfit – herringbone trousers, a button down decorated with fleur de lis and a hip little short sleeve sweater that sports a small almost unnoticeable tag that says “little citizen of the world”. He was at least going to look fabulous no matter how lame this party might be.

Sure enough, we turned into a strip mall in Mt. Laurel, NJ and parked among the endless rows of SUVs. We scanned the strip and spotted “Oceans in Motion”. It didn’t look particularly impressive from the outside. And, truth be told, save the random stuffed animals shaped like fish or sharks there wasn’t much that reminded you of the ocean once you were inside either. On the other hand, what this place offered was actually quite wonderful. It was essentially an indoor playground. There were little trampolines, mazes to climb on, toys to jump on, and a ball pit that didn’t look like it harbored a million bits of bacteria. All of this was in an environment friendly for children ages 2-6. Even Ben, at just past a year and a half, had a blast. He caught major air on the baby trampoline and took a great deal of delight throwing balls at his own reflection in the mirror and then catching them as they came bouncing back (he’s an only child and was delighted to meet such a well dressed friend).

Alas, all cynicism aside, Oceans in Motion turned out to be quite a nice place for little ones to play. It was safe and clean and the staff could not have been nicer. We were there for a party but you can bring your children to play anytime. And, as someone who has been stuck in the house with kids on yucky rainy days, this place could be a wonderful diversion from trying to convince your children how fun it would be to help mommy dust and fold laundry.

More Adventures in Bad Parenting

I fed my baby a Lean Cuisine today. He was hungry and I wanted to watch the Project Runway from last week before the new one airs. In my defense it was Butternut Squash Ravioli with veggies on the side. That sounds like a healthy, toddler quality meal -- right? And, I just couldn't pull together a lunch with veggies based on what else was in the frig at that moment.
Ben, my son, was totally on to me though. When I served it [big smile on my face] he immediately looked skeptical. He placed a piece in his mouth, closed his mouth, and then reopened it and let the ravioli just fall out onto his shirt. He was disgusted with the lunch and with me. He knew what I did. He knew, I knew he wanted a hot dog and cucumbers. But, I persisted, pointing out the little snap peas that I know he loves. But, these weren't his snap peas. These peas were coated with some kind of thick white sauce adults need to entice them to eat vegetables. And, whatever this sauce consists of, babies know it is bullshit. Eventually, I knew the jig was up and I had to step up and be a good mom. I paused the DVR, pulled out the Aquadoodle and played with him while proper ravioli boiled on the stove. What can I say? I am learning.