Firsts!

This past week, on June 30th, Ben turned 1. In preparation for the big day he got his first real haircut. His pictures suggest generally good behavior in the barber's chair. However, not long after these pics were snapped he began screaming and throwing his head around. Needless to say, he didn't make the best partner to a scissor wielding lady. We left before the cut was complete. Fortunately, he is so damned cute that it doesn't really matter that his hair is a bit uneven.

On Saturday, in celebration of his birthday, Ben decided to forgo all napping. He stayed up from 6 a.m. until 8 p.m.. We begged him to take it easy and lay down for a bit. But he laughed at the idea and instead got to swinging, throwing, laughing and eating cake. He was so tired and delusional by the time the cake eating commenced that he missed his mouth completely many times. The cake that didn't make it into his mouth was instead used as hair product. He spread it around his new haircut and actually created quite a unique style.

Thailand: Weekend Excursions

This weekend was very interesting. It was essentially all the time I had to pack in as much sight seeing as possible. Of course, the rushing and unplanning resulted in some pain. Saturday started off a bit slow. I made arrangements to leave with some students at 10:30 to get a massage. I woke up at 4:30 and the wait until 10:30 began to work on me a bit. But, the massage was amazing and it was great to have my student there who lives in Thailand. She was able to tell me what to expect and how to respond to some little oddities.
After the massage I went on my way in search of Khao San Road. Another student mentioned some good things about this place so I thought I would check it out. Sadly, it turned out to be quite horrible. Tourists from around the world behaving badly gave me a glimpse into how the rest of the world must see us. As I stood next to an American college girl wearing extremely short shorts that were turned down at the waist in order to expose the maximum amount of skin, I felt embarrassed. I decided to head to the ferry and take the river down to the Chinatown area instead.

A pleasant surprised popped up on my way to the river. I stumbled upon the National Gallery and a special exhibition of artists' interpretation of Buddhism. I love art museums and especially sculpture so this unplanned encounter was extra special.

In the evening, I joined more people from my class to go to the night market. They had some great stuff and amazing bargains. I am so indecisive though. I left with just a few little trinkets for my neices.

Sunday was an entirely different story. I went to a place called Ayuthaya which was about an hour and a half on the bus. It cost 50 Baht to get there (about $1.50 US) and I was on an air conditioned Greyhound type bus. Once you're there you see amazing ruins from when the Burmese sacked the original capital of Thailand. I also sat with two different ceremonies and saw the large reclining Buddha. All of this was made possible by the sweetest man ever, Pongsak. Pongsak was my Tuk Tuk driver. The minute I got off the bus he came after me with a map. I was a bit turned off at first, but he just seemed nice so I agreed to let him take me around for three hours. This turned out to be the best decision I made. He took me everywhere, bought me bottles of water and even took me down a little residential street where he bought me a bag of fresh pineapple and let me taste his potatoes.

When he took me back to the buses he made sure I got on the right one and sent me off with a smile. His English was limited but he tried to give me little bits of info as we traveled. One funny thing though -- when we arrived at this one monument where there are statues everywhere of roosters (aka cocks), he explained that "we [the Thai people] love cocks".

Do good, get good

One of the students from my class started singing a little magic phrase yesterday, "Tum dee, dae dee". This phrase means, "do good, get good". Apparently in a society where everyone is seeking to make merit it helps to provide this reminder when bargaining for goods at market. However, I couldn't help but think about how it relates to everything. Over the past week I have observed a group of people work incredibly hard, stretch the limits of what they know and all in the service of children. As someone who thinks a lot about teachers and how they function I am left feeling very inspired but the thoughtfulness and effort being put forward by this group of educators. Surely, they have done good and hopefully they will get good.

Day three: Thailand

OK, so my course began today. It was a long day but very exciting. I am most surprised by the wide range of experience my students bring to the table. There are students teaching in Kuwait, India, Pakistan and many other places. In addition, they are an extremely bright group. I definitely am going to have to step up my game in order to make sure they get what they need and stay engaged.

Day Two: Thailand

I arrived in Thailand yesterday. The flight was extremely long (17 hours). Exactly as a friend warned me -- I looked up at the monitor when there was a little over 7 hours to go and thought I might die. Somehow, I managed to fall asleep for a few hours and all was well.
Today is a completely different story. I woke up early this morning ready to adventure out. I practiced a bunch of Thai phrases, mapped out my plan and ordered breakfast. Ah breakfast! I order the "complete Continental Breakfast" - pointed right to it on the menu. I recieved a bowl of cornflakes. Small by my standards. I waited endlessly for my check. Ok fine. I used the Thai phrase for "thank you" quite a bit despite the incorrect order and slow service.
Then, I asked the desk how to get to the river. They explained that was very far and called me a cab to take me to my first destination, Ka Phrat Kao. This was beautiful. After negotiating the cab fare, and borrowing a skirt to cover the three inches of calf that would surely offend the buddha, I took out my camera. Alas, it didn't work. Apparently, I never put batteries in it. So, I took lots of pictures with my phone. Upon leaving I found a store to buy batteries for the rest of the day.
As I left the Grand Palace and traversed the street that ran along it's gate, I met a man who offered advice about where to go next. He circled 4 more Wats on my map and put me in a Tuk Tuk. He told the driver that I would pay 40 Baht for him to take me to all 4 places and then back to Wat Po. For those of you wondering, that's about $1.50. I should have known that there would be a catch given the low price of transportation. The driver insisted on taking me to some shops where the sales pressure was through the roof. When I said I didn't want to shop, he explained that it was for him and not for me. The shops give him vouchers for gasoline when he brings people. And, as I discovered, he doesn't get a voucher if I don't stay long enough.
So, I saw some wonderful temples where there were no tourists. I got to pray alongside Thai people in home temples. I made a friend at the first. We sat on the carpet in front of a great golden buddha and chatted about our children, living in the US and Thailand, and other random topics. I bowed a lot, practiced not allowing my feet to point toward anyone and tried to use Thai phrases as much as possible. I was also bamboozeled into a few purchases and overpaid for one or two things by choice because I sensed the sellers needed the sale more than I needed to hold on to a dollars worth of Baht. I also enjoyed seeing sleeping cats around some of the temples.
And, a simple highlight for me was seeing lotus flowers. I had never seen one in person and was surprised at how sturdy and beautiful they really were. I wished I could grow them at home.
Finally, my feet were aching and blistered from my cheap Target sneakers. I hopped in a cab and gave the address to my hotel. He said he knew where to go but was hopelessly lost. We drove around for what seemed like hours. I watched him miss signs and tried to point them out but to no avail. He finally figured things out. The taxi ride was an adventure. Now, having been running on fuel from one small bowl of corn flakes all day, I am quite hungry. I am a little disappointed that I passed up so much good food today and definitely sad that I just walked right by the massage school. I chickened out at the last minute. Not only am I a little shy about being touched, I was very sweaty by the time I got there.
Well, I have a few more days left to explore.

10 months old!

A little bit nasty and a little bit rock n roll

This picture is Ben at almost 9 months old. You may notice a cut under his right eye. That injury, as well as a few others which are less apparent, are the result of an altercation with another baby at day care. Apparently, Ben stole Andrew's pacifier. Ben doesn't even use a pacifier. Never the less, Andrew went after Ben and put a little hurtin' on him. The story goes that Ben didn't bother Andrew for the rest of the day.

Ben @ 8 months

Civil Unions for Everyone!

As many of you know, New Jersey now supports Civil Unions for same sex couples. And, as per usual, conservative Christians are outraged. Apparently, gay rights put the sanctity of marriage in jeopardy. Never mind divorce, substance abuse, physical abuse, and infidelity - clearly gay rights is ruining marriage.
Personally, I feel that states shouldn't grant anyone a marriage license. Our government should ONLY have the power to grant civil unions to couples, hetero- or homo-. Then if a couple wishes to enter into the covenant of marriage that can be done through their church. There are religions who honor same sex marriages and those that don't. But, at least one has the choice of where to worship.
So, there it is -- take "marriage" out of the government's hands all together.

Support my students

Some of you know that I maintain another blog for my other life. That blog can be found here: http://artistryequanimitypower.blogspot.com/

If you have a few minutes, please jump over to that site and check out the bulletin boards for Black History Month and Women's History. There is a link to a very brief survey about these boards. Please consider weighing in on them.

TI(RED)

In the spirit of The Gap's new campaign, I am thinking of creating a t-shirt with the logo "TI(RED)". I searched through the pile at The Gap -- INSPI(RED), DESI(RED) -- none of them applied to me. I don't feel inspired to do much more than sleep. The excessive Eeyore like pouting and Rip Van Winkle like sleeping also leave me less than desirable.
Is this a "30-something" something?
Here are just a few things I am TI(RED) of:
* seeing headlines about how thin or fat movie stars have become
* caring more about Reese Witherspoon's marraige than my own
* getting huge overstuffed envelopes of coupons in the mail
* actually opening the huge overstuffed envelope full of coupons and throwing them out one by one
* blow drying my hair
* packing up leftovers, not eating them and then having to clean out rotten food
* snooze buttons
* the endless supply of fur my animals have to shed
* the impossibility of even being able to vacuum up all of the animal hair
* the NE Patriots
* Rosie O'Donnell
* ughn, this post

Feelin' a little Monkish

As part of my triathlon training program, I have to learn to swim. This week was my first swim lesson. I almost didn't go because I was filled with so much anxiety. Do I even have a swimsuit that fits? Will the pool people judge my flabby physique? Do I need to freshen up my bikini wax? How long can I keep my stomach sucked in? Do I bring the towel in the pool area with me or leave it in the locker room? Do I need flip flops, a swim cap, goggles?
Finally, I tore myself out of the house and arrived at the Y. Under my oversized sweats I was sporting a tangerine colored Adidas swim suit that I had bought 5 years ago when I originally decided to learn to swim. It had never been worn outside of my room before. I walked to the locker room, still filled with apprehension. I didn't want to be late, but, didn't want to be too early either. I was hoping to spy some classmates and follow their lead. After a few minutes I heard the voice of someone talking about teaching the adult swim class.
My fears were immediately quelled as I introduced myself and began having some of my questions answered. Also, she was there with her children and, uh, not endowed with a swimmer's body. In fact, she was quite large. I know this is completely unfair of me. Still, her size helped my ridiculous body image issues immensely.
Size aside, she was a really great teacher. Somehow, she managed to keep me at ease, actually teach me stuff and manage her three young children all at once. I learned a ton in 45 minutes. I actually floated for the first time ever. Plus, I now get the idea about how to breathe while I swim. It could be that I am on a first lesson high, but, I can't help but feel that the triathlon can be a reality now and not just an untouchable dream.
On the other hand, something quite disturbing happened during our lesson. In addition to learning how to breathe, I was told that I had to spit. Even now as I think about it I feel a bit nauseous. I don't spit. I don't like to see others spit. I really don't even like to think about spit or people spitting. I have a 6 month old son and his drool disgusts me. At this lesson, I had to stand and watch my instructor demonstrate something called "bobbing". During this demonstration she was spitting and explaining the importance of spitting. Clearly I had to ask if there was enough clorine in the water to accommodate for all of the spit. I had hoped the answer would be a resounding "yes". However, the answer was, "don't think about it". Well, now that's all I can think about.
So, the triathlon is within reach as long as I can get over my fears of fat and spit.

Merry Christmas from Ben

Michael Richards -- Ughn!

I feel exhausted every time I think about this situation. This morning a few news reports showed highlights from his recent appearance with Jesse Jackson. A small part of me actually feels bad for him. Richards looks like a lost puppy. He really looks like he doesn't understand what has happened. He claims that he is not a racist and he seems to really believe that. Still, he can't account for the words that he so freely spoke on stage and clearly directed at a group of young Black audience members. He looks so stunned that one might wonder if he were momentarily possessed by the spirit of a madman from the deep south 100 years ago. But, superstition aside, he needs to deal with the reality of his words and the consequences.
Consequences. See, I think that's the issue here. He spoke those words freely and with vigor because at that moment he felt safe. He [wrongly] assumed that the crowd would laugh and generally agree with his statements. It is not likely that this is the first time he has spoken in this way. What is likely is that he was never called out on it before. He was always in a place where he was either in the company of like minds or in the company of people who had less power and felt they could not respond appropriately. But, this time was different. He wasn't in his "safe to be racist" zone, although he wrongly assumed he was. He wasn't the most powerful person in the room, although he must have felt he was. Instead, and thankfully, the group he addressed expressed the power to resist such racist comments. We all have this power although many of us do not choose to exercise it.
I take back my original observation that Richards looks like a lost puppy. As I am writing, it is becoming clear what he really looks like. His expression reminds me of a small child who was caught doing something wrong. Just as young children judge "wrongness" by the consequences and not the intent of the actions, Richards is responding to the consequences more than the intent. We must remember though that this is a very immature expression of morality. As we get older, have more experiences, dare I say, "grow up", we learn to reason in a morally advanced way. Richards has not learned to do this yet.

Back to the gym!

I was ready to go and ran upstairs to get dressed for the gym. I reached into the drawer with neatly folded gym clothes that haven't been touched for months and pulled out a pair of comfy shorts. I double checked the size - large - to be sure they would still be comfy shorts and pulled them on. They were tight. Way tight. "I'm a pig", I thought. And almost decided to take a nap instead of going to the gym. But, instead, I pulled out the XLs, giant jog bra, Muppets t-shirt and left the house. As many of you know, leaving the house is a great accomplishment. It almost always means that you are actually going to the gym. I resisted the urge to go to the post office, supermarket, coffee shop and arrived at the Y. Here was my workout: 30 minutes elliptical, 15 minutes old fashioned stair master (the one where you actually climb stairs), 20 minutes new elliptical type machine. I had planned on doing 30 minutes of the old stair climber but forced myself to stay for 15 minutes before I switched machines. More than an hour of cardio - triathlon here I come.
Next day = 30 minutes high intensity cardio + 30 minutes lifting!
I refuse to buy more shorts in size XL so I am going to have to keep this going.

PS3 makes Ben sad

As the lines began to form outside Circuit City and Best Buy stores throughout the country, I became overcome with a feeling of anxiety. I remember the days when parents clamored for Cabbage Patch dolls, Tickle me Elmos and the like. Children crying and parents feeling compelled to shell out money they don't have to stop the tears.
This is problematic on so many levels. First, we socialize our children to think they must have certain things. In part, this is our fault. As adults we insist on having certain items, the best new gadgets, even name brand aspirin as we turn our nose up at the generic ibruprofen. But still, it is imperative that we as adults help children vet out what is important and what is just hype.
But, here's the bit that really gets under my skin. As I saw the lines form and reporters interviewing the folks who were waiting, I realized something really sad and sobering. That realization is that most of the people in line weren't getting the PS3 for themselves. They were buying them [sometimes more than 1] so that they could sell them on Ebay for double or triple or more to desperate parents.
This is the saddest part of all. Forget the village helping to raise your children, they are too busy finding out how to take advantage of the elders. What has happened to our culture when making a buck has trumped everything else? And, I might even be able to wrap my mind around it if they interviewed someone in line who has three kids of his own and will use the money from the PS3 sale to take care of his own family. However, what I keep seeing are young 20-somethings who either don't work or don't mind taking three days off from work to sit in line outside a store.
On the other hand, we shouldn't let the folks off the hook who actually buy these items at ridiculous prices. I can't help but wonder what their life is like that they really think it's worth $3K to purchase a freakin' game. Especially when, if they could wait a month, they could probably buy it right off the shelf at the store at regular price. That group almost deserves the little Veruka Salts with whom they get to live. Still, it makes Ben sad. All sides of it.

I suck

Yesterday I never got to the gym because the baby was sick and I felt bad to leave him with the gym daycare. But really, I just suck. He could have stayed there for an hour. He would have been fine. I need to get over all of my crazy hang-ups and excuses. It's too easy to use the baby to justify things. Who would argue with me when I say that I needed to take care of him and sacrifice my gym workout? So, it's time to be honest with myself about my motivations and obstacles. I can do this, I know I can -- just not today. Today I'm sick, really. Sore throat, fever -- the whole enchilada + I have to work until at least 5p. If I feel better I will go to the gym tonight.

Less than Stellar Start

My triathlon training was thwarted today by a complete lack of sleep. Last night I literally had to hold the baby all night long and was unable to sleep. So, this morning going to the gym to workout seemed very unattractive. Instead I stood at the kitchen counter, bent over from the waist with my head resting on the counter. The coolness of the granite served to wake me up a little bit.
At the moment I am at work, exhausted, trying to read about logistic regression. Yes, it is just as boring as it sounds.
Hopefully, tonight will be filled with sleep and tomorrow will be a better start.

I'm the decider...

And, I've decided to begin training for a triathlon. I've run a marathon and did the city to shore bike ride (150 miles in two days), and now it's time to kick it up a notch -- BAM!

Of course, the baby adds an extra obstacle to my already hectic life. However, my 5:30 a.m. gym visits are getting easier to stomach. I am going to use this blog to document my efforts and to keep me honest.

Stay tuned.